a gift from Sister José

In 1910, T. W. Rhys Davids, a well-known Buddhist scholar first coined the term “Mindfulness.” The term was chosen for the focused attention it manifests. Living in the PRESENT is a concept found within many faith traditions. There are different names for the gentle, quiet, remembrance that was given to humans centuries ago. I first learned about it in my twenties when I went on a simple retreat in Brockton, Montana. 

As a young wife and a stay-at-home Mom to four small kids, I was busy. We lived a couple of miles out of Poplar, Montana, the headquarters for the Sioux and Assiniboine tribes on the Fort Peck Reservation. There were few opportunities for retreats or conferences. I had a chance to drive to the small town of Brockton about 15 miles east of Poplar. There I spent a morning and had a lunch with Sister Jose Hobday (1929-2009).

Sister Jose, a sister of the Franciscan order was comfortable living with a couple of other nuns in a simple, little ram-shackled house. Her place as a Catholic Church presence on the reservation was a testament to vows she took and the lifestyle she was willing to bear. It was important that Sister and her community of Sisters live among the people, helping them with whatever would meet their needs. It is the Franciscan way.

I did not know Sister Jose Hobday was an internationally known writer and speaker. I did not know she was Native American. And I didn’t know anything about living simply. Unbeknownst to me, my journey into the world of maturity was beginning. My LIFE PATH took many twists and turns before I was able to find me and begin an authentic WAY. Sister Jose is a small part of assisting me in a direction.   

Since I didn’t drive much it was a brave thing for me to leave my little family on a summer morning and go to Brockton. It must have been a Saturday because I left the kids home with their Dad. I would never have hired a babysitter for something that seemed so frivolous. In my middle 20’s to middle 30’s I did deep searching not only for the “who I am” piece but for the “blues” I lived with. There was a new diagnosis for what I was living with, but I wasn’t told I had post-partum depression. I figured that out years later. 

I do not remember what Sister Jose and I talked about. In fact, the conversations we had are just blurs in my mind. What does stand out to me are three things: 1. Sitting in the little bedroom that had been changed into a chapel with the presence of the Holy Eucharist; 2. Sister Jose coming to join me, in silence, after she prepared our lunch; and, 3. Eating cottage cheese with French dressing on it for lunch.

At that time my only frame of reference for retreats was from my High School years at Saint Joseph Academy, in Sprague, Washington. Those 3-day retreats consisted of a priest coming to talk to teenagers about various topics. When we weren’t at Mass, a talk by Father, or praying in Chapel, we could go on walks around the school grounds and up the hill from the Academy. It felt like true freedom. The only thing that the two retreats had in common was the silence. 

It was at lunch, where I actually enjoyed the cottage cheese because of the French dressing and I still eat it that way, that Sister Jose shared some thoughts about forgiveness. She said that “washing dishes” could be a catalyst for releasing anger, fear, and sorrow. She talked about the steps that could lead me to spiritual freedom. After all these years I summarize the teaching this way:

• Filling the sink with hot water is the INTENTION set for healing. By filling the mind with the hurt feelings, I carried, I needed to become willing to begin to “let go.”
• Adding soap to the hot water was an opportunity to ask for help with my issue(s).
• Placing each dish or piece of silverware into the soapy water gave me a chance to identify and touch the different sores in my memories. In some ways I could take the issue and hug it one more time, feel where it is in the body, or find its hiding place within my mind.
• Unplugging the sink is key to letting go. The focus I set with the INTENTION for healing, assisted the intention by way of review for purposes of clarity. And the focus created an inner space to allow the intention to accomplish its original purpose~to heal my soul.

Each one of those actions were individual and each one provided an opportunity to allow a memory of whatever healing needed to take place to happen. The growth into becoming purposely intentional takes time. When we are sincere about change, we can begin with small steps. As we grow in being comfortable with the process, we get better and better at it. It is always a practice.

On that summer day, about 50 years ago, in a retreat I did not understand, over cottage cheese with French dressing, I would eventually bring forward out of my inner storehouse, a gift from Sister Jose. I would come to know it as Mindfulness. 

References: Jose Hobday Loves the Church, Tiptoes Around