HOW SUBCONSCIOUS PATTERNS PLAY OUT IN OUR DAILY LIFE

On this everlasting journey of uncovering the layers of the subconscious part of us, I finally put a finger on what unresolved trauma looks like in someone, even the small traumas. I can now see the outward manifestation of what stuck energy looks like in someone’s life. Each energy session I give, receive and observe shares more insight to how the energies shift, what they feel like and how to manipulate them for the better. I’m continually intrigued and mesmerized by the depth and complexity of the multi-dimensionality of the human condition. So, let’s just dive right in and see some examples of unresolved trauma and/or stuck energies. We'll start off easy and get into more intense examples.

Seemingly Insignificant, but by Definition, a Trauma

I recently got married for the second time. As we began living together, my husband gave a simple request to always unplug the hot water kettle after each use. Granted, he is much more consistent about a lot of things than I am, but about this he was particularly persistent. I couldn’t really grasp why it was such a big deal to him, but I did notice he would NEVER forget to unplug it. After a few months it was clear to me that it was a non-negotiable request. Later, I noticed myself following up after anyone who had used it and not unplugged it. I wasn’t actually thinking about why I needed to unplug it, I wasn’t even thinking at all (a subconscious behavior). Then, my next thought was, “Why didn’t [this child] remember to unplug it?” as if it was a general rule of thumb for it to be unplugged. Then I remembered why I had taken on the habit of unplugging it. 

Eventually, I decided to ask him why it was so important? He told me a story of leaving a similar appliance plugged in while he went out for the evening in his early adulthood. When he returned home, he found a pile of melted plastic and hot metal on the counter. Where there once was a pitcher, there was now a mass of material far too hot to touch. A horrible odor filled the air, and he realized that one action nearly started a fire and could have caused a major disruption in his life. 

This example is simple and it’s not necessarily something we would consider traumatic. However, it changed his behavior in regards to that appliance from that day forward. Trauma by definition is something that causes emotional upset - and by that definition, what he experienced with the electric kettle was in fact trauma. It is also a perfect example of how an emotional upset (trauma) gets stuck. He can remember not only the situation 30+ years later, but also the feelings it brought up in him.  

Glimpsing the Subconscious: Hypnotic States of Mind

Day by day, I’m getting a clearer grasp of what subconscious patterns look like in our waking life.

For the most part, you can easily identify with brushing your teeth, but not really remembering if in fact you did it this morning. Another easy example: driving the same route home over and over and having someone ask you some specific detail about the route home on a specific day - to find you honestly have no clue about the answer to their question. We are in a hypnotic state when we operate without thinking.

We all easily go into a hypnotic state where we are partially alert and our alert mind is elsewhere. Sometimes we call this daydreaming. Whatever you want to call it, the unique thing about this state of mind is that we are particularly susceptible to influences around us anytime we are there. Before the age of 8, we live mostly in this type of hypnotic state. This is where most of our ingrained habits that last a lifetime start. This why our childhood affects the rest of our lives so profoundly. 

As we transition into adulthood we are in this state less and less, until we find ourselves only reaching this brain wave state before and right after sleeping. It is only through deliberate (conscious) practice of putting yourself in the hypnotic state, and working to create more positive memories here that we can reprogram our minds. This is the foundation of why hypnosis is so effective for changing ingrained (subconscious) behaviors. 

Bigger Influences = Bigger Nuts to Crack 

Taking into account the influence our childhood experiences in a mostly hypnotic state, let’s look at how stuck energies manifest in adult life. 

Let's take an argument among young siblings. It's easy turn and experience with an older sibling into what later feels like a natural inclination (longstanding belief) to assume others will behave and think the same as your sibling. My older sister took on the role of leader easily. She liked to be in charge and would often tell me what I needed to do. One thing was sure, if I was in an unfamiliar situation and there were new people around, she would be the one I turned to to make sure I was safe. In that way, she always had my back. This is a positive experience of a sibling taking on a leadership role. Throughout my life, I have had a fairly positive experience with many people who have led me in life, and therefore I respect most leaders.

Yet, the roles we play, even as children, are not one-dimensional. At this point in my life, I honestly don’t remember exactly how else she took the leadership role, but what I do fervently recall is that I felt compelled, even as a child, to say, “She’s not the boss of me!”   Later, it easily transitioned into “You’re not the boss of me!” This then morphed into, “I don’t like you telling me what to do.” As an adult this manifests into me having an inexplicable desire to change jobs and then later into starting my own business so I don’t have to experience someone telling me what to do all the time. 

I wouldn’t initially describe this experience with my sister as a trauma, but the fact that I have emotional responses to situations like these over and over throughout my lifetime is confirming some experiences with her were in fact a trauma. I don't even consciously remember anything except a few incidences. I honestly don't even want to remember them - as they were not pleasant.

It’s easy to transform a dislike for being told what to do by my older sister into a sense of independence - which is wholly accepted by our society. Again, this is another example of a traumatic experience affecting life for the good.

Digging Deep: How Non-Flowing Energy Manifests as Blocks

If I took my experience of being bossed around as a child as a temporary experience, feeling the emotions it brought up in me, expressing them and finding my own true balance again the energy would resume flowing and it would not be a trauma. It would not change how I respond to the world. 

However, when experiences like this happen repeatedly, especially when emotions are not allowed or acknowledged this becomes the beginning of what some like to call energy blocks. The term, block, is a little more forceful than I think it really is - at least at first. When it continues over and over, and the energy body repeats the same (non) response, more and more energy stops flowing - an energetic block is a very appropriate term. 

Imagine the stifled emotion as a small pebble in a stream the first time. You don’t notice it affecting the flow of the stream. With each incidence,  the same denial of emotion turns that pebble into a bigger rock. On repeat, the rock can grow into a boulder, completely rerouting the stream, changing the banks and cutting new paths into the surrounding land. As the energy continues its congestion, we change our behavior, avoid situations and people. With each practice, each experience - we either reinforce the pattern of stifling emotions or we establish new neural pathways for allowing the emotions (energy) to flow. 

Younger Influences = Bigger, Well-Disguised Energetic Congestion

Given we start our lives off living almost entirely in this highly influential, relaxed state, our childhood experiences affect our subconscious patterns more than most could ever imagine. Take a moment to really think about it.

Babies are this unique combination of the most sophisticated receiver and also severely handicapped independent beings. Babies are incredibly smart and experts at reading energy. They do not speak any language, they can’t walk or feed themselves but they have been fully aware of their mother’s presence and her feelings even within the womb since day one. They hear verbal responses to her emotional upset. They also physically experience the chemical shifts with her emotions, the physical jostling of her movements as a result of those experiences. 

Babies and parents communicate in this most basic form with cries in the early weeks. The baby is learning to use their vocal cords, and manipulate them so that you, the parent, can better understand their needs. Each cry is different, and one cry means “I’m hungry,” another means, “That makes me mad!” or “I’m scared!” 

You may not remember it, but you too were born incredibly receptive and energetically intelligent. We learn to forget our energetic awareness as we learn to survive in the world, but we do not lose the ability. Think of it like riding a bike - once you've done it, you will always remember the feeling of balance, action and flow. It's much easier to get back on and regain your balance once you know how it works and you've felt riding.

Although we do not consciously associate the problem with a co-worker, our spouses or our our children with what happened in our childhoods –– what happened to you in your childhood is most certainly affecting your life today.

Subconscious Patterns Affecting Our Everyday Life 

As babies, we innately know a need to be cared for, loved and appreciated. This need never really dissipates. We seek interaction and connection constantly. Too much disruption in this turns into a formal medical term: Failure to Thrive. Although this is more often associated with babies who aren’t growing as they should, it is also used to describe elderly people at risk of an earlier death for the same type of deficit.