"Several studies have shown that stress and emotional turmoil are positively correlated with severity of acne in adults."

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Natalia Volanberg recounts here emotional healing journey with acne. .

I forgave my mother during my Clarity Breathwork Training and Healed Adult Acne! 

I had acne all my life. 

The nightmare started at the age of 13 and my face became covered by volcanic eruptions - it turned into a pepperoni pizza OVERNIGHT! Yikes!!!

It was painful and ugly - I became unrecognizable to myself and others. I used to look forward to waking up for school every morning. I began dreading it. 

My mother. 

My teenage years were also painful mostly because of my mother. She was smothering me, constantly violating my boundaries. She read my diary, opened letters from my friends that I received by snail mail - just did not respect my privacy at all. 

She did not listen to how disrespected or violated I was feeling. She justified her actions by telling me how worried she was about me. I tried to convey to her that she was ruining our relationship, she was destroying trust. 

I felt  helpless and I felt rage every day.  My mother blamed me for having anger management issues and played her favourite victim card. I had huge acne breakouts after every fight  - especially on my chin and along my jawline. 

Trust your intuition about the cause. 

I sensed that my acne had to do with my mother somehow and decided that the only solution was to run all the way to Canada. I wanted the conflict to stop. It was obvious to me that I could not change her. I was exhausted by constant crying and screaming to protect my boundaries. I just wanted to go on with my life. 

Canada. 

I moved to Toronto from Moscow in 1996, but my acne did not disappear. 

Right after my move, I began working as a film extra. Many Hollywood movies were filmed in Toronto. 

Superstar! (1999 Film) Saturday Night Live Comedy

One time while I was on the set of Supersta that was starring Molly Shannon and Will Ferrel I was offered a tiny role. 

I was supposed to bump into Molly Shannon as she was walking out of the hall. I was so self-conscious and disconnected from my body that I rammed into her like a bull. 

My giant Zits on a Giant Hollywood Screen!

I was thinking: "All my zits would be on a huge movie screen FOREVER." Needless to say, the scene was not used and I got fired from the role. 

Doctor! Can you heal my Acne? 

I was at the end of my rope - no over the counter Acne products helped even one bit. I went to see several doctors. "Hormonal imbalance!," each one of them proclaimed. "We will put you on contraceptive pills."

Hmmm. It did not sit right with me - how did they know that without even running any tests? I felt that they were set  to put me on some kind of medication or hormones for life. Only one suggested quitting smoking or that maybe it was diet- related. 

LifeStyle Changes I made. 

So I quit smoking and went raw vegan for 3 years. 

I started going to yoga and meditation classes at least 2 times per week. 

No change! 

Long-story short. I had acne well into my 40s. I tried everything. But no…Do you remember Proactive Solution Acne Treatment System? No, it did not help me either…

Can my acne be Psychosomatic? 

Only when I was doing my Masters in Psychotherapy did I discover psychosomatic stuff.

What does 'psychosomatic' mean?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, 'psychosomatic' refers to a physical illness or other condition caused or aggravated by a mental factor such as internal conflict or stress.  

According to one book, acne is an indicator of an issue that is close to the surface, but is constantly suppressed. This issue is usually related to anger. 

Several studies have shown that stress and emotional turmoil positively correlate with severity of acne and psoriasis and the frequency of outbreaks. 

But now what?! I have to heal my relationship with my mother? Impossible!

A year ago I embarked on my journey with Clarity Breathwork. Levels 1&2 had a lot to do with our birth story and our parents. It was perfect timing - I just came to my home town for a couple of months. My mother was due to have an operation and I wanted to be there for her. My father passed away in 2016 - so it was my mother and I from now on. 

Forgiveness. Healing. Releasing. 

I did some really intense work around forgiveness and learning about my birth. I asked about the circumstances of my birth, about the state she was in - all the details. 

My mother's trauma and grief. 

It turned out that she had multiple miscarriages before getting pregnant with me. She was scared to get attached to me as I was growing inside of her. She was scared to believe in me in case she was going to lose me. She was afraid to fail as a woman. 

I understood and forgave my mother. I wrote her multiple letters of forgiveness. I understood the pain she was in and how alone she felt in her fear. 

Multiple breathwork sessions that I received in my training allowed me to gently, but systematically release my rage, anger, resentment and all the negativity I accumulated over the years. 

Breathing and forgiveness work healed my ACNE.