"To find LOVE in 2023 you must be in love with LIFE!"

Natalia Volanberg who lives and practices psychotherapy and breathwork n Puerto Vallarta gives her best advice on finding love without  dating apps.   

I am a psychotherapist, mental health coach and a breathwork practitioner who is currently living in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  Many of my current therapy/coaching/breathwork clients keep asking me questions related to love and dating:

“How do I find love in this crazy world? What is the best strategy to use? When is it going to finally happen?” 

I am not a dating coach: I know nothing about dating apps and I don’t coach on dating games/manipulation tactics.  Here is my best advice. 

#1. To be able to find love you must be in love with life itself. 

You must have hobbies, passions, something that drives you, ignites your curiosity, makes you wonder, gives you food for thought - makes you ALIVE basically!  When you are radiating ALIVENESS - people will stop you on the street especially in friendly and relaxed Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. You will meet people everywhere in REAL LIFE. (Many of my clients are my age and older and do not want to use dating apps.) 

#2. There is an element of destiny.

Recently I’ve been listening to the interviews with the Chilean filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky. I find his teachings on PsychoMagic and creativity to be especially inspiring, especially since I am here in Mexico where his cult classics such as El Topo and the Holy Mountain were filmed. 

Alejandro met the love of his life only at 76! He was searching all of his life… And he was very much enchanted by life and always in the thick of it. Not a person who was hiding under the rock exactly. 

When he met Pascale Montandon at the age of 76 he recognized her instantly as the Love of his Life:) 

In 2011 I was in Thailand and had my first Vedic astrology reading. 

It was the most accurate reading EVER! At that time I was in my early 30s and kind of obsessed with finding the one, so the reading was pretty much relationship-focused. I discovered that I had some really heavy relationship karma. This confirmed the suspicions that I already had. I was told that I kept on meeting men who had no real purpose in life, no career and that was true. 

The astrologer gave me approximate dates for all my past and future significant (karmic) relationships, described the dominant quality of each relationship and how long it would last. He was reading my chart as if he had tapped into Akashic Records. It was almost scary! Now looking back - all of his predictions came true. 

#3. Slow down and be open/approachable. 

Last Saturday I was at the Marina Vallarta for the workshop called “Getting Ahead through the Heart”. 

On the way there I was in a rush. I also got a bit anxious  when I realized it was going to be held at a private residence. I was walking very quickly, my energy was closed - not at all approachable.  On the way back I was walking slowly. My heart was open because I met wonderful new people and the content of the workshop was beautiful and nourishing.

Guess what? 3 people stopped to talk to me as I was walking towards my destination (it was a short walk!) They were attracted to my energy!

#4. Release past relationships. 

Each relationship leaves an energetic imprint on one’s body, mind and energetic system independently of why or how it ended. We might  think consciously that we are ready for a new relationship, but energetically we could be transmitting a different signal to the outside world because we are still holding on to some emotions related to the previous relationship. 

Are you willing to feel your feelings in order to release them? 

Sometimes the feelings of grief, resentment, regret  or disappointment are so strong that we would rather not feel them at all - so we repress, numb out, disassociate, distract ourselves.  However, the better we can lean into the emotional states we fear the most (in a safe, controlled, supportive environment) - the easier it is to release and move on. 

To release old energetic imprints and trapped emotions I  recommend breathwork. Conscious, connected breath is a safe and effective way to let go of stuck emotions and energetic imprints. I would advise to have at least one 1-on-1 session with a qualified practitioner. 

A typical breathwork session usually consists of 2 parts. The first part is a counseling/therapy session during which you identify the core intentions for the session, express your thoughts/emotions and give the history of the situation. 

The second part is the breathwork itself which lasts for about 45 minutes. During this part you will be gently guided on how to breathe, provided with compassionate support so that you can express your feelings without judgment. Ideally, as a result of conscious connected breath, you will be able to drop in deeper into your body and your subconscious mind, 

P.S. Friendship as a source of Love. 

Which is the best kind of Love?

Modern society conditions us to believe that there is a hierarchy of love and that romantic love is at the very top of this hierarchy. We are told that when we don’t have romantic love in our lives we are not fulfilled - we are missing something and our overall experience of life is somehow diminished! 

But Love is Love! 

Every time I travel to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico -  I make wonderful new friends. It is just so easy to make friends here unlike in other places and this very fact  brings me back to Puerto Vallarta again and again. 

So cherish your current friends and make new ones. In some cases you will walk much longer on the path of life together. To add to this, long-term friendships are a proven source of longevity and psychological well-being. 

Reach out to Natalia Volanberg is currently taking new clients with the form below: